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Ibrox, February 17th 2010

Rangers 1 St Mirren 0

By Chris

And so to this lot. As a Celtic supporter the thought of going to the home of your most bitter rivals for some 120 years is hardly the most enticing. Despite being born just a few hundred yards away from Ibrox (albeit in a catholic hospital) there was never any chance of me swaying to the other side - from the moment I arrived home swaddled in green my father would regale me with tales of his adventures when following his beloved hoops. But tonight, for 90 minutes only, I am not a Celtic fan. And no, I’m not one of them either.

Instead I joined Kieran, Jamie and a hardy band of fellow St Mirren fans for their Scottish Cup replay tie against Rangers. We took our seats in the North-West corner of a stadium which, as impressive as it was some 20 years ago, now looks rather worn and shabby. The seat numbers for example didn’t run consecutively – ours were 67-69 and before that it stopped at 58 and after it began again at 73. The three tiered main stand still looms impressively large over the arena but the rest doesn’t quite match it and to be honest (and I am trying to be) our view was rubbish. However I have to admit on my three previous visits here, when full, the atmosphere is spine tingling.

Tonight however only 30,000 punters braved the cold and it was at times eerily quiet with even the resident Rangers drummer failing to rouse his loyal brethren. Indeed it was the Saints fans providing the noise, suitably spurred on by the group of 20 or so Rangers neds to our left who were doing everything in their power to live up to their fellow fans' questionable reputation. The teams emerged to a bizarre medley of ‘Rangers til I Die’ (repeated ad nauseam), The Great Escape and The Dambusters. The game began in a cagey manner with St Mirren happy to knock the ball about at the back before launching soaring passes towards the ever impressive Billy Mehmet. Rangers were restricted to some long range efforts which never really threatened; Naismith was closest with a left foot drive which went wide. The chance of the half fell to Michael Higdon but his free header from a corner flashed wide of the post.

The second half saw little change. Boyd had an effort ruled out for offside and he then stung the palms of Gallagher with a fierce shot. At the other end Higdon came close again with a header and just moments later was inches away from a great Dorman cross. Rangers tried to change the pace of the game with Kenny Miller coming on for the ineffectual Novo (I have to admit ‘ineffectual’ may not have been the adjective I actually used when describing him at the game) whilst Saints lost their influential right back Jack Ross to injury. Just as we appeared to be heading to extra time Kris Boyd held off John Potter and rifled home. There was no way back for St Mirren and Rangers nearly doubled their advantage at the death when Miller fired wide.

These two sides will do battle again in the League Cup final in March and on this evidence there is little to suggest against the Saints causing an upset. Despite their creaking stadium, haemorrhaging losses and obvious lack of talent on the park Rangers continue to dominate the Scottish season with a 10 point lead at the top and a chance of the treble. One wonders how this is possible for a team with Kyle Lafferty in their side. For St Mirren they have a cup final to look forward to but more importantly survival in the league to achieve. We had survived our visit to the netherworld and unanimously agreed that we shall never return. That might not be a problem if Lloyds decide they want their money back.

Journey - 5
Pie - 4
Bovril - 2
Ground - 4
Game – 5

Pie and Bovril Review: Lost in tribal confusion, Chris refused to go near the catering facilities so it was left to myself and Paisley as the relative neutrals to get the job done.

Steak and Gravy pies turned out to be insubstantial mince that fell apart into crumbly, soggy mess in their foil wraps. Once you'd managed to eat them however, they weren't all bad. An unremarkable 4/10.

The Bovril however was genuinely baffling. Like at other top flight stadiums the Bovril comes from a tap (connected I presume to an underground network of Bovril pipes that parallel the gas network). Yet somewhere beneath Ibrox it tastes like they've cross-plumbed that with rusk to water it down like cheap sausages or student union beer. Poor show. 2/10

Ochilview, February 13th 2010

Stenhousemuir 0 Cowdenbeath 0

By Chris

Back on a beautiful sunny day in early August, four (that’s right, four) earnest young Groundhoppers visited Ochilview on the opening weekend of a wonderful football journey. Fast forward six months, just three of them have soldiered on with the finishing line in sight and find themselves back at the home of the only two clubs who ground share in Scotland – East Stirling and Stenhousemuir. In the halcyon days when we were last here St Mirren overcame East Stirling 6-3 in a bizarre league cup match, a win which triggered a fantastic run to the final itself against Rangers. Today it was a 2nd division tie between the ground hosts Stenhousemuir, languishing in the lower half of the league, against Cowdenbeath (them again) who were trying to cling on to the coat tails of leaders Alloa.

The day didn’t start too well for myself, as we trudged along the roadworks labyrinth that is the M80 we listened to Celtic blow a two goal lead and further dent their hopes of a league title. However with the sun out I quickly forgot about our defensive deficiencies and looked forward to game number 31 - although expecting another nine goal thriller in front of a packed house may have been asking for too much. The pre-match pie and Bovril was tastier than we remembered although Kieran perhaps correctly pointed out that our standards may have lowered somewhat after 6 months of the varying cuisine quality we have endured. Despite Sean having long since quit the Groundhopping mission he was there in spirit in the form of Cowdenbeath defender John Armstrong who struck a remarkable resemblance. However the similarity ended there as Armstrong turned out to be quite a competent footballer.

The match began at a good pace with Stenhousemuir pressing the away side hard but failing to create any real clear cut opportunities. Cowdenbeath did look more dangerous in attack but their forays forward were rare in occurrence, striker Gareth Wardlaw coming closest. The game turned in the Blue Brazil’s favour when Stenhousemuir’s Pat Scullion received a second booking just after the restart for reasons only known to the referee and linesman – presumably for abusive language (something with which the 400 or so punters berated the officials with for the remainder of the game). Cowdenbeath briefly threatened to utilise their numerical advantage and Stenny keeper Chris McLuskey pulled off a stunning save from a close-range Paul McQuade effort. Despite dominating possession they failed to create any further clear cut chances as the home side doggedly sat in and tried to hit on the break. Indeed they could've snatched an unlikely three points but their final ball let them down and when they did get a clear sight of goal they failed to properly test goalkeeper David Hay. With just seconds left on the clock Stenhousemuir's Paul Quinn found space and raced towards goal only to be cruelly chopped down by Kenneth Adamson. He deservedly saw red but the resultant free-kick sailed high and wide and that turned out to be the final action.

So after 93 goals in 30 games we finally came unstuck with our first goalless encounter but Stenhousemuir deserved a lot of credit for their second half performance with just 10 men. Next stop, sadly, is Ibrox…

Journey - 5
Pie - 8
Bovril - 8
Ground - 3
Game – 5

Recreation Park, February 9th 2010

Alloa Athletic 2 Cowdenbeath 1

By Chris

A bonus midweek trip for a top of the table second division clash between first place Cowdenbeath and Alloa who were breathing down their necks and on an unbeaten run which stretched back some 3 months. We were joined at a bitterly cold Recreation Park with our guest Groundhoppers for the evening – Jimmy, Nicola and her grandfather Robert Scott, an Alloa stalwart for some 65 years. We met the three inside where Nicola delightedly informed us that she got in for half price as a junior, Jimmy sadly wasn’t so lucky.

Recreation Park is an unusual little ground with a small terracing behind one goal, a gazebo that runs along half of one side and a race ground style main stand on the other. There was an interesting menu on offer at the pie stall and I opted for the mince pie and lentil soup which seemed like the right choice after viewing Jimmy’s stovies. The teams ran out on the synthetic surface to an admirably hearty crowd of over 600 supporters. The match began in a scrappy manner with both sides appearing nervous in such a crucial game. Cowdenbeath were finding some joy down their right hand side but it was Alloa who snatched the lead when ex Celtic and St Mirren striker Bryan Prunty lashed home from 10 yards after good work by John Grant.

The goal rallied Alloa into life and Cowdenbeath keeper David Hay was forced into two decent saves before the break. I decided to try another few delicacies from the menu but the sausage roll was somewhat difficult to swallow although a cracking Bovril did help to wash it down. The second half was a far more entertaining affair with Cowdenbeath determined to get back into it and Alloa keen to wrap up the 3 points. Ten minutes in and after the away side had twice gone close Alloa striker Stuart Noble raced through and despite his first effort being blocked he coolly netted the rebound to double his side’s lead.

Cowdenbeath were not finished however and began to push Alloa further and further back but their efforts were thwarted not only by the home keeper but also some last gasp defending and even the crossbar at one point. With 20 minutes to go they finally got themselves back into it when Paul McQuade stabbed in from close range. In a frantic finale Cowdenbeath applied intense pressure but could not find the equaliser they probably deserved. Indeed as they poured forward Alloa twice could've sealed the win but for weak finishing when one-on-one with the goalkeeper. In the end they hung on and the home fans drifted home delighted to be top of the league.

Journey - 6
Pie - 6
Bovril - 8
Ground - 6
Game – 6

Bayview Stadium, February 6th 2010

East Fife 2 Dumbarton 3

By Chris

It was supposed to be a visit to a packed Starks Park in Kirkcaldy for a potentially explosive Scottish Cup tie between first division Raith Rovers and SPL side Aberdeen. However due to an administrative error (i.e. I forgot to buy the tickets) we instead had to settle for a grey drizzly afternoon in Methil for the 2nd division clash between East Fife and Dumbarton.

I watched a documentary on lower league grounds a few years back and when it came to East Fife I remember sitting in wonder at a ground which was situated at the Methil docks whose only redeeming feature seems to be the enormous power plant domineering high over it. On arrival in Methil it was clear why that’s all I could remember about the place as we drove through a rather desolate town filled with closed down shops, boarded up buildings and empty rusting playgrounds. The ‘stadium’ is nothing more than one small stand and a low brick wall running along the other three sides with a reasonably nice view of the sea to one side and that power plant on the other. The plant, decommissioned ten years ago, now lies empty and unused – a horrible dark and dank building which resembles something from a terrifying dystopian future.

As sponsors of the Scottish leagues Irn Bru send a ‘football bus’ to a different ground every Saturday and this week was Bayview’s turn so before the match Jamie took part in the football shot challenge and managed to win himself a foam hand and several other ‘Bru related gifts. The foam hand turned out to be a useful cushion on the damp seats as we took our place amongst the 500 or so fans. I had to admit that I was a bit apprehensive that the game would turn out to be a dirge but the opening 15 minutes dispelled any such fears. It was evident within the first minute or two that defensively, East Fife were a shambles. Dumbarton were opening them up with simple passes down the sides and had already threatened before Ben Gordon had time and space in the box to fire past Fifers ‘keeper Michael Brown.

The home side rallied well and with Dumbarton’s defence looking almost as equally shaky player-manager Steve Crawford fired in from close range on 13 minutes. The home fans joy was short-lived however as just two minutes later they were left horribly exposed again when Scott Chaplain hit a superb curling shot to put the away side 2-1 up. The game was open with both sides keen on exploiting the others deficiencies and it was Dumbarton who gained a strong foothold on the match when another simple pass confused the Fifers rearguard and the impressive Derek Carcary rounded the goalkeeper, composed himself and slotted home. 3-1 at half time.

East Fife came out with real intent in the second period and ten minutes in they won a corner which fell to Crawford at the back post and he hit a beautiful dipping volley into the top corner to give his side a fighting chance. They could not create any further clear cut opportunities despite some incessant pressure, the best chance following to Paul McManus who could not quite get the ball out his feet when clean through. Dumbarton held on and secured 3 points to give them some hope of a play off place at the end of the season.

Journey - 6
Pie - 6
Bovril - 5
Ground - 3
Game – 7

Caledonian Stadium, January 30th 2010

Inverness CT 2 Partick Thistle 1

By Chris

With the worst of the winter weather seemingly abated and rescheduled fixtures completed we now had a final schedule made up for our remaining 15 games of the season. It was therefore quite disconcerting to wake up early on Saturday morning and hear that many games had been plunged into doubt after an overnight freeze and more worryingly our game at Inverness was one of them. However the bright winter sunshine and clear skies gave us enough hope to set off after 9am and within an hour or so we discovered via a Groundhopper follower on Twitter that the match was on. It turned out to be a glorious drive up the A9 with the crystal clear blue skies contrasting exquisitely with the increasingly snowy mountains and the morning sun shimmering on frozen lochs. After a brief stop once again for a delicious bacon butty and cup of tea in Aviemore we continued our journey north. The further we travelled the clearer it became just how severe the weather had been with several abandoned cars encased in ice littering the side of the road.

Our driver Jamie got us to Inverness in plenty time so we decided to take a quick pit stop in town for a pint and to watch the 2nd half of Celtic’s lunchtime game. I’m sure I had been to Inverness sometime before in the distant past with my parents but I couldn’t recall anything about it. Indeed I was somewhat surprised that, given it was granted city status nearly ten years ago, it wasn’t, well, bigger. The main street is little more than what you get at places such as Perth or St Andrews but it was bustling enough and indeed the pub we stopped in was packed with families and football fans. I watched Celtic scrape an uncomfortable 1-0 win at Hamilton whilst Kieran went to buy himself a new hat and gloves and Jamie popped across the road to put a coupon on before we set off for the Tulloch Caledonian Stadium.

The stadium itself is reasonably decent with just three sides filled with seating and the 4th left looking rather sparse with a few rows of uncovered seats (apparently for when Celtic and Rangers come calling) and a TV gantry. The main stand seems to have evolved over the years with an extra section, again uncovered, added at either side. The small away stand which housed around 100 fans of today’s opponents, Partick Thistle was behind one goal. We took our in place in the North Stand which is situated at the opposite end where the more ‘hardcore’ element of the Caley fans occupy themselves. The stadium does benefit enormously with where it is situated – right on the banks of the North Sea, with a mountainous range in the distance and the Kessock Bridge looming behind it – it is as picturesque a setting as you could get for a football ground.

Caley Thistle and Partick Thistle both harboured dreams of making it to the SPL this season but in truth Thistle’s indifferent form of late had left their hopes hanging by a thread. Caley however, like others just above them, had games in hand over league leaders Dundee who had begun to look nervously over their shoulder as the season wore on. After a rather disappointing pie and Bovril (to be fair it would’ve been hard to match last week’s) we took our seats amongst the other 3,000 or so fans as the teams emerged. It was clear from the off that Caley were struggling to cope defensively with any crosses coming into their box and perhaps even more worryingly for them they seemed incapable of actually stopping the wingers from delivering the dangerous balls in. Thistle’s Mark Corcoran had already caused problems down the right side and he was who opened the scoring in 16 minutes with a simple a goal as we’ll see all season. With the Inverness defence backing off he curled a low shot from the edge of the box into the bottom corner leaving keeper Ryan Esson rooted to the spot. To be fair Caley had their chances too in the early stages but found the again impressive Thistle goalie Jonny Tuffey in fine form. The home fans were aghast when Jonathan Hayes was booked for simulation after seemingly being tripped in the box. However Hayes redeemed himself moments later with a well hit low drive into the corner to level matters and we went into half time all square.

During the break we met up with Newman, a friend of Kieran and Jamie’s who had relocated up North to teach in Dornoch. It turned out the ‘hardcore’ Caley crew at the back of the stand were actually all his pupils who he drives to each home game. Caley came out with much more pace and purpose in the second period and a Sanchez shot from 20 yards once again saw Tuffey called into action. The away side weren’t quite done though as forward Liam Buchanan went close at the near post. Then in the 67th minute Adam Rooney won a rather dubious penalty for the home team but his spot kick was superbly deflected over by the keeper and Tuffey yet again produced heroics with a block as Sanchez passed up an incredible opportunity of a clear sight at goal. It was all Inverness now and Rooney this time was the culprit of a glaring miss when one-on-one with Tuffey he dragged his shot wide. However right on the 90th minute Thistle defender Ian Maxwell hauled down Rooney in the box and was promptly sent off. This time Rooney made no mistake and drove it home to give his team a valuable 3 points leaving Jonny Tuffey despairingly pole-axed on the turf as the young Caley fans danced home in jubilation.

As pleasant the drive up the A9 was in the sunshine it takes on a different mood at night with snow showers, deer occupying themselves at the side of the road and the occasional kamikaze driving from one or two motorists. However it had been an enjoyable if rather cold day and another long trip has been completed on the home stretch.

Journey - 8
Pie - 4
Bovril - 5
Ground - 7
Game – 6

Gayfield Park, January 23rd 2010

Arbroath 1 Peterhead 4

By Chris

I admit I have a soft spot for Arbroath but I’m not sure exactly why. Perhaps it’s borne out of sympathy for a club who have won precisely nothing in their 132 year history, play at a ground on a beach called Gayfield and are decked out in horrible maroon strips. The one claim to fame, and to be fair it is a spectacular one, is that they hold the record for the biggest victory in world senior football – 36-0 against Bon Accord in 1885. However even that record was very nearly usurped by Dundee Harp who won 35-0 the same day and even Arbroath admit that could have been more had the Dundee referee not lost track of the goals scored.

On a grey, drizzly winter morning we took off in the rather battered and bruised Vectra toward the North-East for a match between two sides struggling near the bottom of the second division. Arbroath had recently lost three players to Forfar including influential midfielder Barry Sellars and had several others out through a combination of injury and suspension. Their opponents Peterhead were still optimistic for promotion in the second half of the season and had recently acquired veteran Barry Wilson to help with their challenge at the top.

We arrived early at Gayfield and after the customary photo shot we polished off some fantastic steak pies and bovrils as the fans slowly began to drift in. The game started at a good pace with both sides playing with attacking intent. After just one minute we lost our first ball of the afternoon when an Arbroath clearance drifted out the park, over the path and into the North Sea never to be seen again. 11 minutes in and Peterhead, somewhat against the run of play, took the lead with a simple set piece play, David Ross heading home from a corner. Arbroath quickly responded when David Winters, playing as a trialist after being released by Livingston, scrambled home after a dangerous corner.

Arbroath were in the ascendency but the game was to change entirely in the 23rd minute when the home side struggled to clear their area and the ball hit a prone Keith Gibson on the line. Despite the players protestations the referee immediately pointed to the spot and sent the defender off much to the home support’s fury. Barry Wilson kept his cool and comfortably slotted home to put the away side back in front. If that was bad for the home side then things got worse ten minutes later when Peterhead won an extremely dubious free kick some ten years outside the box which Martin Bavidge headed in. For the remaining 15 minutes of the second half Arbroath continued to try and apply pressure but were undone with some poor final balls and increasingly embarrassing officiating. One decision in particular which rightly riled the home crowd was a free kick decision where the ref pulled the ball back ten yards despite a clear slide mark on the pitch where the tackle occurred. The Arbroath players complaints were only rewarded with a booking for dissent.

At half time the Arbroath and Peterhead fans took it in turns to switch ends so they could see their sides attacking them. Arbroath came out again with some purpose but Peterhead were well marshalled by their captain, the rather rotund Bobby Mann. We had held some debate in the first half whether the big Peterhead defender had managed to lose some weight since we last seen him at Clyde but on closer inspection it was clear the man had enjoyed his Christmas turkey dinner, and probably his family's too. Despite being markedly out of shape, the defender put in an accomplished performance with excellent passing from the back.

The game was effectively over as a tie in 56 minutes when a sweeping Peterhead move down the left found Nicky Clark unmarked in the box to nod in. The game died immediately and we spent the remainder of the match surviving the sweeping rain and dropping temperature as Arbroath huffed and puffed but never really threatened again. Before we began our journey home I had to continue with a family tradition and stop off at Peppo’s at the harbour for a delicious fish supper. Despite the drizzle, the cold and the disheartening home defeat I will still find myself back at Arbroath one day.

Journey - 6
Pie - 10
Bovril - 7
Ground - 7
Game – 5

So what happened when you went to Or browse by photos: Panoramas | Mugshots