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Tynecastle, April 10th 2010

Hearts 1 Kilmarnock 0

By Chris

Ask any football fan what their nightmare scenario would be and the likely answer is something along the lines of losing heavily at home in a derby match or being relegated by goal difference on the last day of the season. My team managed to conjure up an altogether new one for me when they capitulated embarrassingly to First Division Ross County in the Scottish Cup semi-final. As the three of us embarked on a short train journey through to the capital the signal on my radio faded in and out with short bursts of County one up, Celtic being pulled apart, Horrible miss and ultimately And thats the second goal, Celtic are out the cup. Just when I thought the season couldnt get any worse. If that result was the nadir then having to go to watch Hearts-Kilmarnock immediately after was some form of cruel and unusual punishment. Two clubs with an intense disliking of the Old Firm and Celtic in particular were to play out their final game prior to the league split with the home side needing just a point to secure a top 6 finish and Killie desperately clinging on to Premier League life.

We arrived in an Edinburgh bathed in glorious spring sunshine (which doesnt make it any more appealing I may add) and walked the short journey from the station to Tynecastle. The match tickets were a reasonable £19 and we opted for the main stand, which turned out to be a pretty shoddy choice on my part as we quickly realised that ¾ of the ground is a cracking arena and the other quarter is the main stand. It is evident from when you squeeze through the extremely narrow turnstile and corridor and see the archaic signs warning of pickpockets that this stand is truly a relic of a bygone football era. It was only to get worse when we took our seats as Kieran and Jamies were beyond the pitch level and their view restricted by an enormous floodlight stanchion. The seats themselves were horribly cramped, akin to that at Morton. We could only look out enviously at the other three modern stands which were bathed in the afternoon sun.

Just as the game kicked off the impressively large crowd launched into a rousing rendition of Lets all laugh at Celtic and If you hate the effin Old Firm I knew then it was going to be a long afternoon. The match itself started at a good pace with a chance for either side - Killies Connor Sammon heading over after just two minutes when he shouldve really scored and the ever languid Christian Nade shooting straight at Cammy Bell. However there were little opportunities again until the half hour when Hearts scored the only goal of the game Suso Santana sweeping the ball home after a blocked shot in the box.

The second half was a bitty affair with few clear cut opportunities until the last fifteen minutes when Kilmarnock began to open up more in a desperate bid to claim a vital point. It was the home side who came closest though to sealing victory with Nade, Suso and Robinson all passing up opportunities. Truth be told my interest had waned completely by then as I tuned into a dramatic Grand National race on the radio. As we left the ground news had filtered through that Jamies St Mirren had lost to Falkirk in a massive relegation battle and with that and Kierans Oxford side struggling to get out of the conference it felt like the Gods of football had truly smote us. And that was even before we realised we had to next visit Airdrie.

Journey 6
Pie 5
Bovril 6
Ground 7
Game 5

Station Park, April 3rd 2010

Forfar 2 Berwick Rangers 0

By Chris

If you ask anyone what Forfar is famous for the answer inevitably will be bridies; not exactly the greatest claim to fame but nonetheless reason enough for us to alter our traditional Saturday afternoon diet of mince pies and occasional pizzas. The town itself is a fairly bland affair but we did stop off for a pleasant pre-match pint at the Plough Inn which was recommended by a number of Forfar followers on our Groundhopping twitter (apparently we're over 80 followers now according to Kieran, our resident statistician). The ground, Station Park, is situated just round the corner from the bar and consists of a bank of open ended terracing behind either goal, covered terracing running along one side and a small elevated main stand on the other which doesnt quite run the full length of the pitch. The pitch looked rather uneven and had a slope but all in all it wasnt the most unattractive ground we have visited this season.

And so to the pre-match bridies. To be honest I found them rather disappointing given the hype, too much chewy pastry but this was compensated with a tasty homemade style filling. As we finished the local delicacy the teams emerged to a cacophony of noise from the tannoy which submerged any applause the 400 punters had given and the teams kicked off in bright spring sunshine. It was evident from the very early stages that the visitors Berwick Rangers hadnt improved any since we visited them a month or so back. Forfar had them on the back foot from the off and were duly rewarded just eight minutes in when Barry Sellars struck a low free-kick from the edge of the box which Berwick keeper Mark Peat just failed to keep out. The home side continued to dominate possession and Mark Watson went close with a chip but Berwick did come back into it a little before the break however the one goal separated the sides at the interval.

The second half began in a lively manner with Berwick continuing to exert some pressure without really ever threatening and it was of little surprise that their weak defence was exposed again on the hour. This time Ian Campbells free-kick into the box was nodded comfortably home by his brother Ross and the match instantly died as a contest. However there was still some drama to come near the end when Berwick defender Andy McLean was dismissed for a foul on Mark McCulloch in the box but the resultant penalty by Ian Harty smacked the crossbar and the home side saw out an easy last ten minutes to all but secure their play-off place in Division Three.

Journey 5
Bridie 7
Bovril 7
Ground 7
Game 5

Cliftonhill, March 23rd 2010

Albion Rovers 2 East Stirlingshire 1

By Chris

Albion Rovers v East Stirling on a cold Tuesday night is hardly the most appealing of fixtures but nonetheless was another page in the closing chapter of the Groundhopping journey. It was a short drive down the M8 to Coatbridge; a town of high-rise flats, run down shops and of course, Cliftonhill Stadium. Albion Rovers have played at the ground since Christmas day of 1919 and in truth it looks like it still has the original décor. The small main stand, despite being rather archaic, has an impressive set-up with a mixture of seating and terracing. On the opposite side is a disused bank of terracing and thats about it in terms of the ground, behind one goal is high fencing and the other a field rolling down to a housing estate.

After the regulatory pie and Bovril (cheap and tasteless) we took our place among the smallest crowd of the season but certainly one of the more vocal. East Stirling had been enjoying one of their better seasons in recent times and their 50 or so supporters who braved the cold were certainly in good spirits. The Albion Rovers fans took some time to get going but when they did the banter exchanged between both sets was an amusing highlight of an enjoyable encounter. The match, despite some often wayward passing and panicky clearances, was played in a good spirit by both teams and some questionable refereeing added to the occasion.

After some early sparring from either side Rovers keeper Jamie Ewings produced the first meaningful save of the evening with a parry from Simon Lynch. The goalie was to go on to have a massive say in the nights proceedings, his next moment coming just ten minutes later with a wonderful diving save from the brilliantly named Michael Bolochoweckyj. Then, 5 minutes from half time, the away sides David Dunn cracked a shot off the post which rolled along the line and somehow safely back into Ewings grateful arms.

The keeper was to be undone just five minutes after the restart when an expertly placed looping header from Jamie Stevenson gave East Stirling the advantage. It lasted all of five minutes when Albion won a hotly disputed penalty to level matters. It was all too much for one East Stirling fan whose continuous barracking of the ref saw him being led out the ground by two stewards. Then Ewings once again proved his worth with a great tip around the post and this was followed by another slice of luck when East Stirling again hit the post.

However it was Albion who grabbed the second when substitute Pat Walker turned expertly in the box and rifled home with little over ten minutes left. East Stirling piled on the pressure but when Stevensons superbly placed free-kick smacked the bar in the dying moments it was clear the home sides luck would see them through. A thoroughly entertaining evening all round and topped off when we were recognised outside the ground after the game seems our fame is spreading as the season draws to a close.

Journey - 5
Pie - 3
Bovril - 6
Ground - 5
Game 6

Balmoor, March 20th 2010

Peterhead 3 Arbroath 0

By Chris

The last time we attempted to travel north to Peterhead we encountered torrential snow blizzards before the match was called off just several miles from our destination. Today there was never any danger of inclement conditions affecting our journey as the three of us and regular guest Groundhopper Jimmy set off in the early morning sunshine. The fixture, Peterhead v Arbroath, was a repeat of the game we had watched back at Gayfield in January when Peterhead ran out comfortable 4-1 winners albeit aided by a dreadfully incompetent refereeing performance.

The four hour drive went reasonably quickly although I did experience an odd moment when we stopped off at a Perth petrol station and several dozen Celtic fans were there heading in the opposite direction to Glasgow an almost symbolic moment of the current feelings I have for my team. There was a slight directional mishap on arrival in Aberdeen when Kierans trusty iPhone suggested a short cut which had us going round the one way system of the city centre before he got us back on track. However we still managed to arrive at Peterhead with an hour to spare before kick-off. The town is hardly the most welcoming with a huge power plant and a supply depot along with the prison dominating the area; but past that is the more aesthetically pleasing expansive harbour and marina.

We stopped off for a quick pint at the local Wetherspoons which seemed to be filled with either expectant mothers or large families, perhaps an indication of the lack of outdoor activities available in the area. Peterheads Balmoor Stadium is a small but not unattractive ground consisting of two stands which each seat around 500 fans and open areas behind either goal rather than any terracing. Despite a rather limited menu the mince pie and Bovril we each had was a tasty and more importantly hot antidote to the increasingly biting wind drifting in from the North Sea.

Prior to the kick-off we were treated to the wonderfully bizarre sight of the home teams mascot a seagull who was continually tripping up over itself and clearly couldnt see out of the costume (hence being led round by a young girl) if it had been on Rolf Harris' Animal Hospital it wouldve been given the last rights. The match itself began at a reasonable pace with both sides creating an opportunity Arbroath's Stevie Hislop hitting the side netting when he may have done better and then the home sides Paul Emslie unleashing a fine drive which keeper Darren Hill tipped away. It was Peterhead who took the lead in the 13th minute when Peter Bruce headed home a Daniel Moore cross and Arbroath struggled thereafter to gain any sort of foothold in the first half. Indeed Peterhead could've doubled their advantage before the break but Paul Emslies shot hit the post.

Arbroath made two changes at the start of the second period in hope of turning the game and perhaps shouldve been level 5 minutes in but Hislop was denied again, this time by some fine goalkeeping. From then on they huffed and puffed and offered very little threat and Peterhead wrapped up the three points with a quick Martin Bavidge double near the end. Firstly he superbly glanced home another great cross from the superb Daniel Moore and seconds later drilled a low shot through the keeper and into the net to emphatically seal the win.

Journey - 6
Pie - 8
Bovril - 8
Ground - 6
Game 5

Strathclyde Homes Stadium, March 6th 2010

Dumbarton 0 Brechin City 1

By Chris

After another weekend of frosty pitches had halted our Groundhopping journey we were back on the road again for the short journey down the M8 to Dumbarton for their match against Brechin. The home side sat comfortably in mid-table division 2 but were in something of a slump having lost their previous three games. Their opponents Brechin were still hanging to hopes of a play-off place come the end of the season. Dumbarton had been promoted the previous season with an impressive late run to gain promotion but then suffered a dreadful tragedy when club captain Gordon Lennon died during the summer break.

Their ground, The Strathclyde Homes Stadium (or The Rock to their supporters), was built in 2000 and consists of just one standard build stand, similar to that at St Mirren and East Fife. Unlike the Fifers however the stadium is in a far more picturesque setting with it situated at the very foot of Dumbarton Rock and views of the river winding its way past the town itself. After the customary photo at the main entrance we took our place amongst the Sons armed with a piping hot pie and Bovril.

After an initial shaky first five minutes the home team settled into the game and began to play with some pace and purpose. Most of their joy seemed to come down the left side with Stevie Murray impressing, just as he had done at Bayview some weeks ago. However it became increasingly apparent that Dumbartons final ball was a big weakness and so despite finding themselves in useful attacking positions they could never fully capitalise. The best opportunity fell to Derek Carcary when he beat the offside trap but his lob over the out rushing Craig Nelson looped beyond him and the goals. To be fair the home side werent helped with a very dubious refereeing decision when Carcary seemed to be felled in the box only for the official to wave play on. The incensed fans vented their anger as the teams departed at a goalless half time.

Brechin came out with a bit more intent in the second half and 12 minutes in found themselves one goal to the good. Rory McAllisters powerful free-kick at the edge of the box was well parried by goalkeeper Michael White but with his defence static Kevin Byers nipped in and prodded the ball somewhat unconvincingly in. Bizarrely, Sons manager Jim Chapman let rip a ferocious verbal volley at his keeper when it was really his dozing defence who shouldve bore the brunt of his anger. Dumbartons best chance to level fell to the experienced Dennis Wyness but his free header from 4 yards out fell tamely into the goalkeepers arms.

The game petered out from then on with Dumbarton claiming the dubious honour of having most Gerrards this season, an astonishing 8 balls disappearing out the ground in the second period alone. They did put some pressure on Brechin in the closing stages but Roddy Hunter nodded wide at the death and with that they faced the fourth defeat in succession whilst Brechin kept their promotion dreams alive.

Journey - 5
Pie - 8
Bovril - 8
Ground - 5
Game 6

Pie and Bovril Review: Pie - Let's get one thing out the way - Dumbarton will win the award for hottest pie of the season - god knows what temperature they keep their ovens at. Once the molten lava had cooled to a more edible heat we found a delicious tender steak filling with a rich, slightly peppery, gravy in a shell which did crumble a little on me but was nevertheless a tasty winner. 8/10

Bovril - I had a go at the first whilst the pie cooled down. Perfectly rich in flavour and not too salty. 8/10

Shielfield Park, February 20th 2010

Berwick Rangers 0 Annan Athletic 2

By Chris

From one enemy territory to another. After surviving our visit to Govan on Wednesday we ventured south, way down south for a visit to the only English side in the Scottish league. Berwick Rangers were elected into Scottish football some fifty years ago and their website proudly proclaims this to be on of the two things people know about the club the other being a monumental cup win over Rangers in 1967. These days the club finds itself hanging rather grimly on to a play-off place in the 3rd division whilst their visitors Annan languish in mid-table.

We left at noon on a gloriously sunny winters day for the two hour journey out of Scotland. Initially the journey was rather forgettable until we joined the A1 south from Edinburgh and made our way through rolling hills still covered in snow and jutting coastlines where surfers basked in the afternoon sunshine and big waves. If you thinking surfing in the North Sea in February is brave enough take into consideration they were in waters with a nuclear power plant overlooking it. We soon reached the border where upon sight of the St Georges flags Kierans hangover suddenly dissipated and a proud sense of home took over. Jamie and I could only look despairingly over our shoulders as the Welcome to Scotland sign disappeared into the distance.

Berwick is an odd yet somewhat divertingly charming little town with a fascinating history given its position in the country apparently it has changed hands between Scotland and England some 13 times in the distant past. Berwick Rangers' Shielfield Park is centred a few moments drive away from the town centre hidden within a housing estate. The football club shares its home with the local speedway group so the ground is similar in design to what we saw at Cowdenbeath a large track separates the pitch from the crowd and the ground has a bowl style. Unlike Cowdenbeath however the stadium doesnt have the same oddities that I found endearing at the Fife side instead it is fairly bland with one main stand and a small covered terracing section on the opposite side. The pitch itself has a distinct slope and was already quite cut up on arrival but given there had been several postponements on this day we were glad the game went ahead. Well that was until it actually kicked off.

The game was a scrappy and at times ugly affair, punctuated all too often by the referees whistle. Berwick seemed quite keen to push forward which was unsurprising after a recent 4-1 home defeat but it was evident from the outset that their defensive deficiencies had not been rectified. Indeed just 11 minutes in Annan midfielder Chris Jardine swept home after John MacBeths cross had not been properly cleared and Berwick were clearly struggling from then on. On 37 minutes Graeme Bell hit a superb thunderous drive into the top corner to double Annans advantage a goal not in keeping with the game but certainly welcome nonetheless (well if you had seen it, Kieran was too busy fidgeting with his camera). Berwick did vainly try and battle their way back into it and struck the post just before the break but at the internal found themselves with an uphill battle. Or perhaps downhill given the slope.

The second half was just awful, the game littered with niggly fouls and wayward passes. Berwick again hit the post from a Callaghan shot but threatened little else and Annan comfortably saw the game out. The three of us spent the majority of the second period trying to work out our remaining fixtures, listening to our respective teams results coming in and generally praying for the final whistle to come. We did find ourselves somewhat flagging today but with only nine games to go we are close to the glorious finishing line. After a quick pint of Berwick Rangers beer in a nearby pub we headed for that Welcome to Scotland sign and the safety of home.

Journey - 8
Pie - 5
Bovril - 3
Ground - 3
Game 3

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